1. We can only control our own behavior. No one can force us to act against our will without us choosing to allow it, even if it means facing severe consequences. Understanding this grants us more personal freedom than we realize.
  2. All we can exchange with others is information. How we choose to use this information is entirely up to us. This realization frees us from trying to control others and focuses us on what we can change—ourselves.
  3. All long-lasting psychological problems are rooted in relationships. Many issues stem from unsatisfactory relationships, and until we address these, other areas of our lives will remain unfulfilled.
  4. Problematic relationships are always in the present. Focusing on current relationship dynamics rather than past issues helps us work towards more freedom and satisfaction in our lives.
  5. The past shapes us, but it does not dictate our present. Revisiting painful memories isn’t necessary for improving current relationships. Instead, we should focus on what we can do now to improve the present.
  6. Our behavior is driven by five genetic needs: survival, love, power, freedom, and fun. Only we can determine when these needs are satisfied, and trying to fulfill them for others is a path to frustration.
  7. We satisfy our needs through the images in our quality world. Freedom comes when we can satisfy these inner pictures, and frustration arises when we pursue unattainable ones.
  8. All behavior is total behavior, encompassing actions, thoughts, feelings, and physiology. Understanding that behavior is holistic helps us see how each part influences the whole.
  9. Behavior is defined by verbs. Shifting language from “I am depressed” to “I am depressing” highlights that these states are choices, giving us a sense of control and freedom.
  10. We have direct control over actions and thoughts, but indirect control over feelings and physiology. By changing how we act and think, we can influence our emotions and physical state, gaining more personal freedom.

Embracing Choice Theory means recognizing that we can only control our own actions and responses. This realization allows us to build closer relationships and achieve a greater sense of freedom.