A few years ago I came across a very well-written article about how to get out of depression. I lost the link, so I no longer have access to it. I remember it gave some fairly simple and easy-to-follow advice. I also remember putting those recommended steps into practice, without much discipline, and even so, I managed to get out of one of my depressions. Below I’m going to write down what I remember from that article, in the hope that it will help me get out of my current depression.

First, I want to warn anyone who has a depressed person close to them: please refrain from saying things like “you just need to cheer up,” “you can get better if you really want to,” or “you create your own circumstances.” To a depressed person, these phrases feel like knives in the eyes: they hurt. The first thing we all need to understand is that a depressed brain does not think or function the same way as a healthy one: depression is a mental illness. A depressed person does not think or feel the same way they do when they’re well. Simple things like making the bed become unreachable torments; preparing a proper meal is unthinkable; going out for a walk just to walk feels like setting off on an odyssey. Everything becomes an uphill battle. Things we used to do easily now feel almost impossible. It also affects our self-confidence, especially in relationships and work. It’s easy for all kinds of relationships to suffer.

Can you get out of all this? Yes, you can.

The first step is to realize that all these negative thoughts we suffer from are caused by the physiological state of our brain. Depression has been scientifically studied, and those studies have shown that a depressed brain has different chemistry, which makes clear thinking difficult. This chemical imbalance is what causes us to think badly about everything. It’s hard to explain, but very easy to understand if you are, or have been, in that state. (Sorry, there are other papers that nagate that the quemistry in depressed brain is different)

How to get out of depression

Actually, you have to get out the opposite way from how you fall in. We slide into it little by little, without realizing: one day you don’t meet up with friends, the next day you don’t make the bed, a few days later you find yourself lying in bed in the middle of the morning not knowing what to do and with no desire to do anything. We enter depression gradually, so we must leave it gradually too.

To get out of depression, you have to do small activities. The main thing is to move both body and mind, but without forcing yourself. When you’re depressed, any excessive effort you impose on yourself will seem impossible, because you’re depressed, and you’ll give up before you even start. So we need to look for tasks with very little friction.

Probably the best activity is to go for a walk with a friend and talk about anything. This works your leg muscles and makes you think about different things. But the biggest benefit is almost certainly the social contact, which is essential for a healthy mind for everyone. You don’t have to do it every day or spend hours and hours. A minimum of half an hour a week is enough; the more the better, but any amount helps. Remember that we have to start small, but as we start feeling better, we’ll naturally realize we want more of it.

Other helpful activities include reading, exercise, cooking, traveling, or simply cleaning the house: anything that gets us moving. The best tasks are those we genuinely enjoy doing when we’re feeling normal (for me, for example, going to the cinema). And don’t force yourself or get desperate if you don’t achieve what you set out to do. Remember you’re still depressed: everything is harder. But that uphill path is exactly the direction we need to take to get out. We just have to go little by little.